xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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