Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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