it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
