Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothing says āI spent too much in Vegasā quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
