I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
