you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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