i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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