I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pants are for mortals
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
