new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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