so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
