Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
