Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
