he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
