At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
