Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
