Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
