Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
