Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

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(423): View more from Tennessee

How’s your Christmas Eve so far?

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.

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(561): View more from Florida

That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.

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