My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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