he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
