yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
