He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
