Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
