"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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