just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
