OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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