is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
