Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize