Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
