Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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