I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
