I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize