i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
