I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
