If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
