Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
