He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
