Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
A bitchslap is in order.
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