guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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