pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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