So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I smell stomach acid.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
