what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
