He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
