thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize