i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
