I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
