I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
