Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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