well you can't waste a boner
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
