erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she looked like the before picture.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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