Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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