Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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