I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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