someone get that fucking seahorse.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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