i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
