sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
