Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
