ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize