Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
