oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
