$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
