In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
