my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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