I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
