did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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